Today I received a very thoughtful and time-involved message from a reader. Not only do I take the time to read the messages I receive, but many I respond to and answer as many questions as I can and feel are appropriate enough to warrant a response.
The benefit of these messages is I get to hear the outside observations of others either having been in, going through now, or considering an affair.
When you’re right smack in the middle of the relationship, feelings and reason often get pushed to the side. The only thing of importance is staying connected and relevant to your lover.
I’ve gone from a newly involved, guilt-ridden partner in the affair with a married man to a fully committed, totally convinced woman in love with a man who was certain he was planning to end his marriage and join his life with mine to a skeptical, borderline angry woman realizing the man who assured her he loved her was only saying so in order to keep the affair going.
It’s nice to finally come to the conclusion he will never leave his wife, he’s too involved and invested in what they have together, to do anything beyond using me for sex.
I no longer have the need or desire to spend time with him. Yes, I do still consider him a friend. We’ve shared many personal experiences, outside of the bedroom, this past year and almost a half. I’d like to think he’ll remain my friend when I meet and begin a physical relationship with someone else.
He says he will, always, when I’ve discussed this with him, but like everything else he’s said I won’t know until it happens. If not, no great loss – for me!