Another Break, Another Ease into Ending

His wife is off the month of January and February.  As a result, we’re on furlough too.  LOL  I have to laugh.  Why be upset, it doesn’t change anything.

With each forced break, it’s getting easier and easier for me to accept and not miss his presence in my life.  I guess that’s the best thing about our separations.  It’s easing me in to ending things altogether.

No, I haven’t done that yet.

He’s still my friend.  He tells me when and if I find someone “special”, available, single, he still wants to remain my best friend.  He’s also said he would still consider wanting to be with me, if I were willing, sexually.  Duh!  Really?  LOL

Benefit for him, distraction for him, difficulty for me if I do meet and find someone to fill my life with.  I will NOT be interested in being with anyone I have to have him for sexual pleasure with still.

His marriage may be a disappointment.  He’s chosen to remain in it.  Money trumps his happiness.  Money trumps me.

He jokes if I ever win the lottery and run away, he’ll run away with me.  NOT!  Does he honestly believe I would consider taking him with me when he won’t choose me now?  His money isn’t worth losing over her when I don’t have any, but if I become rich he’ll live off me.  Fool!

I’m sure you can tell by my post I’ve come a long way from the feelings I had for him at the beginning of my blog on up to almost the last 2 posts.  Yes, he’s still fun and I care for him, but I’m not in love with him.  I know I no longer feel that way.  Well, in any way beyond what I feel for other close friends.

I used to think I couldn’t live without him.  If he ended things, I’d be devastated.  Now, I think he’ll be the one devastated when I end things.  I’ll move on, live happily ever after, and know I’ll be okay.

I’m so glad I’ve come to this point.  Who knows, I may not see him again when he’s free at the end of her time off.

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