So, she did go away today. She even packed a bag. Her “plan” is to come back home to stay with their dog while he’s bowling tonight unless she changes her mind and decides to stay, thus the reason for the overnight bag.
I extended the offer for him to come over tonight. Told him I missed him. Offered for him to bring the dog, after bowling or during, if he decided to skip and spend more time with me.
I don’t know if she’s staying. I don’t know if he’s coming. Right now I’m in limbo where I live most of the time with him.
Vacillating between want for him and want for freeing my heart for someone else is harder than I ever imagined. I wish I didn’t care so much for him. I wish I didn’t still hope for a future with him. I wish I knew there would be an end to us. And if I knew that end was coming, I’d end things first. For the sake of my heart.
Will she stay away? Will he come over? Or will I come home and sleep alone?