When Major Life Events Happen…and I’m essentially alone

Yesterday, unexpectedly, I was let go by my supervisor.

The hospital I’ve worked for is being taken over because of mismanagement and financial collapse so all of administration is panicked over the potential loss of their jobs.  In almost all of these take overs, administration is the first to go because of their failure to perform and prevent the collapse.  The new owner brings their own administrative support team in to implement change and move forward in a positive manner.

My direct supervisor knows I have at least 10 more years of experience than she has and I’d taken my current, or previous as of today, position in order to get back into the healthcare field following my divorce and 8 year sabbatical from working.

Living in a very small town, healthcare management positions are extremely limited and I didn’t want to move closer to a large city, 2+hours away.  The trade off of remaining in a small town meant a much lower income level and my being employed in an under-qualified role.

Over the last month or so, things had become extremely uncomfortable and my supervisor had started interjecting herself in local, onsite matters she’d never been involved in before and wasn’t expected or supposed to as a general rule.  The areas she was supposed to assist in, she wasn’t.  The support she was supposed to be providing, she also wasn’t.

I’d been applying for jobs for several weeks hoping to get out and away from the increased stress, but hadn’t been very determined or aggressive.  Now the urgency has increased and I’m now more incentivized then ever to find a new job.

My 50th birthday is at the end of this month and I had 10 days of vacation planned to celebrate.  I found out my accrued time off has been forfeited with my termination and finances will prevent a celebration like I’d planned, but I’ll still plan on doing something.

I contacted him when it happened and he actually said he’d anticipated it.  I told him I wished he’d said something to me because I was caught completely off guard.  His thoughts were due to the increased stress I’d been under, the rapid and escalated change in her behavior, and her response to my recent email about my concerns over my security and position with the hospital.

He was concerned about me, but recommended I take some time off and regroup.  He also recommended I enjoy life for a while.

I filed an unemployment claim and it was accepted.  I’m also, on his recommendation, going to talk with an EEOC attorney and see if I have a case given the hostile work environment I’d been experiencing and my unjust termination without prior write-ups, warnings, or disciplinary action.  It’s a definite consideration.

My ex had delivered our washer and dryer to my office when our divorce was final and I was awarded them by the judge.  I forgot when I cleaned out my office that I needed to also get them in the empty spare suite next to my office.

I contact security and was able to get them to open the suite for me last night.  A girlfriend from the office brought her truck and helped me get them loaded.  I wasn’t about to let them go and I certainly can use the money from selling them since I already have one where I live.

The security guard, thankfully, was willing to help us load them, but getting them unloaded is going to be a challenge.  I’m going to rent an appliance dolly and she’s going to bring them to my house.  He volunteered to be here first thing in the morning to help.

His wife is in town and has a list of things for him to accomplish tomorrow, which bothers me more than you can know that he’s willing to oblige her, so he’s only available early before he gets wrapped up in doing her bidding.

I may or may not accept his help.  I’m not sure.  I like the thought of accomplishing it on my own and am unhappy about his current “wife duty” assignment.  I love seeing him if only for a short time, but I also know I’m irritated and don’t want him to feel the undercurrent.

He’s providing moral support, ideas, information, but he’s not available to be here, present, alongside me.  It’s a difficult relationship and it’s even more difficult to overcome the hurdles without a companion I can really count on.

Why can his wife not simply go away?  Why can’t he tell her to move out?  Why am I not enough for him to want to force the necessary change so we can be together more often, in a real relationship, to see if what we share is long lasting?





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