Weekends are not necessarily the hardest

His wife went back to work, finally, last week after having been off from before Thanksgiving.  She works every Monday, Tuesday, and returns home on Wednesday.  Our “new normal” is him spending time with me while she’s away.  Last Monday he spent the night and left the following morning after we’d made love again after my shower.  I had a meeting on Tuesday evening after work so we didn’t spend time together.

Tonight we met for dinner and then came back to my place.  We made love and then sat on the couch talking until she called to check in.

It bothers me to listen to their “normal” conversation, that of a husband and wife, following our time together in bed.  He explains it away as “keeping the peace”, but that only hurts worse.

If he’s unhappy in his marriage, why does he insist on “keeping the peace”?  How does he expect me to believe he wants a life with me when he’s unwilling to do anything to provoke her into leaving?  Why would she ever leave with his financial support and willingness to “keep the peace”?

Yes, they may not still share a bed and sex, but he won’t end things with her.  He claims he’s “trapped”.  I don’t understand that.  I had no means of support, hadn’t worked for 8 years, when I left my husband.  But things were broken between us and there was no way I was willing to remain in our loveless marriage.

Having the chance at a happy life, finding someone to love and who would love me back, was more important to me than remaining in the safety and comfort of the status quo we were existing in.

I want him to want me.  I want him to chose me.  I want him to love me enough to want the chance at a life with me.  But I can’t force that.  I don’t want to.  I want him freely and by choice.

Being apart is hard.  But being together and juggling the emotions of his interaction with his wife on the phone is even harder.

 

 

 

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