Confusion

I wanted to see him, as often and for as long as he was able to get away from home.  I enjoyed spending time with him, talking, sharing, getting to know him better.  I felt comfortable in his presence.  I liked hearing him talk and was genuinely interested in what he had to say.

I didn’t understand his need to remain in his unhappy marriage nor the “prenup” that required them to live together during a separation.  He didn’t like talking about it and said it made him sad.  He said it reminded him of his failure which only made me wonder why he still had feelings if things were so broken.

Each time “W2” came up, he’d talk about how she’d alienated their friends, her family, his family, yet he remained in the marriage.  He’d talk about how he’d rebuilt his finances after giving everything away in his divorce from his first wife, the mother of his daughters, and how he didn’t want to lose it all again.

But he’d keep the peace by doing the things she wanted him to.  Said she’d made threats before and he was doing what he had to in order to remain safe.

It confused me, upset me, made me think all I was to him was an affair.  He’d get upset when I’d say that or refer to our relationship as an affair – said I made it sound dirty and he didn’t see us as that.  But what else were we?  He is married, I’m the other woman.  He had no plans to leave her or make her move out.  Claimed they were living together for convenience – she was his cook and maid only.

He said I had his heart, his soul, his love, and his love making.  But what I wanted most was what she had – his time!

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