I met several different, interested men I was able to choose from and narrow my field down to 2 or 3 I could spend time with, get to know in-as-much as we were able and willing to share about our personal lives, and who were also living in sexless marriages.
The first man I’ll describe was an instructor in the emergency medical field. Both of my husbands had been firefighters so I knew the work and could listen and relate to what he was talking about. He was younger than me by a few years, ex-military, had worked in the field of emergency medicine for a number of years before switching over to teaching and certifying others. He loved what he did and he loved the fact I was in the medical field and could relate as well as understand what he said.
Our first encounter was a strange one. I was going to be in the same general area he was going to be in so we decided an impromptu meet. He’d taught a full day of classes with his mobile rig – a fully functioning, fully equipped ambulance with life-size mannequins for real-life training situations – and that’s what he was driving. I parked and waited for him to arrive. He wasn’t hard to spot. I got out of my car and approached his rig while he shut things down and got out. He was not unattractive and he was pleased with my appearance. We carried on small talk for a few minutes, breaking the ice and calming the first-meet nerves we both were experiencing. Although we’d talked on the phone several times, exchanged selfies to prove we looked as we claimed, and had been texting for weeks, there was still a degree of tension involved with the very first face-to-face.
After we talked for a while and became more comfortable with each other, things became easier. He leaned in and kissed me and I enjoyed his kiss very much. Kissing is a baseline of mine – good kisser, things will probably be good in bed, bad kisser, everything else will follow suit. He was likewise pleased and said so.
I asked to see inside the back of his rig. I wanted to more fully understand his passion and I could tell from talking with him over the past weeks he was proud of the company he had built. He was more than happy to show it off. He assisted me up and inside then followed. He opened cabinets and drawers to show the supplies he carried, showed off the mannequins, described what they did and how they were incorporated in his training and talked about the class he’d taught that day.
We both settled on the stretcher and I let him talk until he was finished. He took my hand, thanked me for listening and being interested, and then leaned in to kiss me again, only this time the kiss became much more passionate and wanting. We wrapped our arms around each other and allowed ourselves to succumb to the pent up desire we’d felt building. Our bodies were in a frenzy and we both knew more was going to happen.
He closed and locked the back doors of the rig, moved to the front and made sure those doors were locked as well, and then we began peeling each other’s clothes off. We couldn’t get naked quick enough. Our mouths and hands explored each other while each piece of clothing was tossed to the side. I lay back on the stretcher and he climbed on top of me. I gave myself to him and he in turn gave himself to me.
Explosive! That’s the only word I can use to describe our first sexual encounter. We’d both been starving for sexual release and when it happened, it was the most incredible thing I’d experienced in a very long time. We were breathless and spent. We lay there together, naked, wrapped around each other while our bodies cooled and the pounding of our hearts slowed. We wanted to see each other again, soon. We got dressed, got down from the rig, and kissed once more, promising to make time to meet again, before driving off and returning to our homes and our spouses.
Over the course of the next several months, we got together as often as we could. Sometimes he’d get a hotel room, other times we’d have sex in the back of his rig. Once I went out of town with him for the weekend. He was teaching a class in the south of the state and it was too far to drive back and forth each night. We talked quite a bit during the long drive about what our marriages were like and how the relationship we had helped each of us get through the day.
Never once did I worry about him exposing me and he knew there was no way I’d do anything to expose him. We had a mutually beneficial relationship and neither of us wanted it to end. We’d become friends along the way and would have missed that as much as the amazing sexual chemistry we had together.
The next man I’ll describe was older than me by several years. He was a scientist and partially deaf. He wore Cochlear implants to allow him to hear. His speech was slightly affected by his loss of hearing and inability to hear correct pronunciations of words. All of this I found out right before we made arrangements for our first face-to-face.
We’d texted for several weeks and went over the usual background stuff – why we were on the site, why we were willing to cheat, what we both wanted, and the routine need for discretion on both our parts. We talked about our careers and general interests, hobbies, what we did for fun outside of the whole cheating scene. We decided there was enough in common to warrant a meet, see if there was a physical attraction, and go from there.
He’d told me about his hearing, but we’d not talked on the phone. He was self-conscious and didn’t want to turn me away before we had the chance to meet and I was willing to give him the benefit of the doubt. I’d never before been with anyone like him and I wasn’t sure of my comfort level either.
We met casually. I was going shopping in the general area he lived and he had been out biking. We arranged for the place. He got in the passenger side of my car and we talked. He was not what I’d call attractive, but he also wasn’t repulsive, and his speech was a little off-putting, but the more we talked the easier it became for me to feel comfortable with it. When our time became short and we both needed to leave, he leaned over and kissed me. It was again okay, but not great. He got out and into his own car and I drove away.
We talked again over the next week and he asked if I’d like to meet him again. This time in a hotel room. I figured I had nothing to lose and I did enjoy chatting with him. If he wasn’t good in bed, then I could easily move on. He was amazing in bed! He was an adventurous lover and did things to my body I couldn’t get enough of. That first sexual encounter sealed the deal and I agreed to meet him again. His wife traveled for business and he was available often. We took full advantage and met weekly, sometimes more frequently, every time for 2-3 hours of mind-blowing sex.
The third, and last man I’ll describe before turning to my present situation, was a computer programmer/code writer. He was by far my favorite! I met him after I’d left my second husband, before our divorce. He had a place just north of where I lived and would come up on the weekends to get away and have downtime.
He was just a few years older than me, very tall – 6’4 – had blonde hair, blue eyes, and was the most attractive of all the others. His smile was incredible! We’d talked for several weeks on the site, then by text. He was coming up for the weekend and asked if I’d meet him. We agreed on a place in my town – a rule I’d held thus far, but was willing to break for him since I’d moved out of my husband’s home and across the state line.
He was already there, sitting at the bar, having a drink, when I arrived. I knew immediately I was all in! I sat on the stool next to him, he ordered me a drink, and we toasted our first meet. We talked, laughed, drank, and talked some more. Time flew! Much too soon, it was getting late, his dog was in his car and he needed to get to the cabin.
We walked outside, he got his dog out of his car and on the leash and let him relieve himself, introduced us, then he leaned in and gave me the most amazing, toe-curling kiss I’d ever had. My heart nearly pounded out of my chest! We both agreed it was pretty awesome and would like to get together again. He needed to leave the dog at his place, get things settled, and then he’d be in touch.
The next morning, he went into town – he doesn’t have signal at his cabin – and texted he’d be available later that afternoon if I’d like to get together. I jumped at the chance! I needed to see if the chemistry I felt when we kissed would translate to everything else we did.
I gave him my address and we made arrangements for when he’d pick me up. We were going to get dinner and drinks and then see how the night progressed. He took me to a cool local place I’d not been to before and we had a great time. The conversation flowed easily and we became more comfortable with each other. As the night got later, I asked if he’d like to come back to my place for a drink.
We got back to my apartment, made it inside the door, and then started peeling our clothes off. We kissed our way into my bedroom and lay down, our bodies on fire and ready to be consumed. Yes, the chemistry was just as I’d hoped! He was amazing and we were amazing together! We spent the entire night changing positions, exploring, giving each other pleasure until falling, exhausted, asleep right before dawn.
He became my focus, my only affair. I gave up the others and arranged my schedule around his weekends at the cabin. We took day trips on his motorcycle or in his sports car. We spent weekends in bed or we got out long enough to take his boat out on the lake or to drive to a place along the river we both enjoyed for drinks and playful public teasing.
For 9 months, I lived for our weekends. He was the most exciting man I’d ever been with and I didn’t need anyone else to satisfy me. The only thing that would have been better was if he’d not been married and we could spend more time together. But the reality was, he was married and had no plans of changing his situation. And when I met him I knew his circumstances so there was no reason to believe there would ever be more between us than what we had.
While I was seeing him, knowing he and his wife had sex maybe 3-4 times a year, I decided to see if I could find someone single worth dating. I met someone I enjoyed and who I had lots in common with, but he had one flaw – he had a female business partner he wouldn’t give up. He also wouldn’t tell her about me or us. He didn’t want to upset her, which made absolutely no sense to me. Thus I justified my continued visits with the married man.
Labor Day weekend, he was supposed to be out of town with his business partner looking for a place to buy so I had the married man over. It was after 1:00 am when he finally left my apartment to drive back to his cabin. His daughters were coming up to spend the holiday weekend with him so he couldn’t spend the night.
Shortly after he left, I had a knock on my door. I figured he’d forgotten something or decided he couldn’t leave and wanted to spend more time with me. It was the guy I’d been dating and he was furious. He’d come back in town early and had been sitting outside my apartment for hours watching and waiting. He saw the guy leave my apartment and realized what was going on.
Long story, short, he ruined my affair and exposed our activity to the married guy’s wife. The married guy blamed me for allowing the other guy into my life and our time together came to an abrupt end.
In my next post, I’ll get you to the point I met my current affair.